Apathy

Do you remember, as kids, that fun playground ride where one child sits on one end, and another on the other end? When one child is up, the other is down. Back and forth, over and over, up and down.  I have been on a teeter totter, going back and forth between full of hope, and total despair. Full of faith and flooded with doubt. Feelings of confident assurance and feelings of total apathy. Believing God will fulfill His promises than doubting He could. I mean look at the circumstances! The reasons are there as to why it wouldn’t come to pass, so what’s the big deal that I actually believe that Lord?!

Last night, I had a dream. In my dream, I was with a group of people. We had all sat down on benches to take a group picture, and off in the distance we saw another group of people all wearing the same shirts. As they got closer, we recognized they were a group looking for a lost child. As we kept observing this group, we were perplexed and burdened because they walked around in a state of stupor. Instead of fervently seeking and screaming for the rescue of this child, they walked around almost whispering this child’s name, with a slothful walk, not believing they would be rewarded in their efforts- they became apathetic to the situation. Slothful. Lacking in zeal, disinterested. To a lost child. 

I woke up in the morning and immediately the dream came back to me, and the Lord brought to mind what He was trying to communicate to me. It wasn’t so much a physical search and rescue, as a spiritual one. Peoples souls are lost and dying, and we walk around in a state of slumber and stupor and apathy. I have allowed the pain of my trial to steal my hope. I have allowed the burden to cause me to become disinterested and slothful. I have bought the lie and come under satans demonic spirit of “apathy”. I’ve taken a laid back posture, a slothful attitude, and a disinterested heart into the throne room of prayer. I’ve bought the lie, that “prayer is just to set your mind on what’s right” instead of prayer being the weapon to DISARM and BREAK the dark spiritual demonic forces and MOVE God to action! I felt something rush back into my spirit, a flood of life, gates flung open to a pasture of hope, and a river of water flowing and nourishing me. I realized and repented that I allowed the spirit of apathy to cause me to question God, doubt Him, and move me into a state of slumber. Apathy is demonic in nature. Our God is a God of hope and life. 

Scripture touches on this spirit of apathy. Revelation 3 speaks on the “lukewarm” church. The ones who aren’t hot but aren’t cold. Just…. “eh”… with a shoulder shrug and heart of indifference. A spirit of stupor and slumber. Or possibly like the disciples whose spirit was willing but flesh was weak. Or in Romans when Paul says “do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Jesus himself came to SEEK and SAVE the lost. He is a missional God, His face set like flint. Fixed on a sole purpose. There was no apathy in Him. His very heartbeat is Exodus 34:6. His compassions MOVE Him to action. Hosea states that Gods people are destroyed for “lack of knowledge”. Knowledge alone can not save us, but believing it and letting it seep like a tea bag into the depths of our hearts and lives, can have powerful results. Wisdom is taking that knowledge and applying it to our life. Doing it. Scripture says to “receive the implanted word, which is able to save your souls”. We have all we need to fight off this evil spirit of apathy. We have all authority in Christ to renounce Satan and his schemes, to renounce our sin, and to walk in the light. 

You see, the Lord will speak a promise to us, and we become so convinced of its fulfillment to us, and then He allows our faith to be tested. How is our faith tested? Trials. Suffering. The nature of faith, is that it MUST be tested and tried. Why would a loving God, allow this to be the process of our faith? In this, God is strengthening us, maturing us, perfecting us, and teaching us the spiritual battle. He reveals HIMSELF in the midst of these dark times. He uncovers His character, which is our firm footing and foundation for anything of substance in our faith.We learn to slay the dragons of apathy, of disbelief, of hopelessness. We become strong and mighty in battle. Think of all the scriptures, where God promised something, then allowed circumstances to totally counter that promise. He spoke a promise to Abraham and Sarah, then they got to a place where circumstances and “reality” said it wasn’t possible, I mean they had all the reasons to believe it would never come! Yet God fulfilled His promise. Will we believe what we are seeing, or what God spoke to us? Our circumstances or His word? Our feelings or assured faith? A faith that is put through the fire and perseveres and endures will come out mature and complete, purified and refined. Precious.